Gartan’s Book – 9/8/10

7 pages.

The thief goes to cross the river with his bags of gold and silver but there are lawmen waiting at one bridge and lawmen fighting anti-foreignor protestors at the other bridge.  So, despite the voices in his head telling him not to do it, he takes out across the ice of the frozen river.  He drops one bag of gold when his foot fell through the ice when he was just over halfway across, another couple of steps and he’s starting to sink so he throws the bag of silver to the shore… then he gets sucked under the ice and the voices in his head go nuts.  With the current under the ice pulling him out toward the ocean, he’s able to calm himself, find a grip on the ice, and slowly work his way back to shore.  (Good thing vampires don’t need to breathe, huh?)  Then, partially frozen, he runs up the shoreline to where he threw the bag to find a bunch of people stuffing the silver coins into their pockets.  He grabs as much as he can and runs home as the sun is coming up over the horizon.  Safe at home, he wakes his mother (who’s freaked out about how cold he is) and makes her promise that she’ll go to the healer.

When I started to write this scene, I had nothing.  He was just supposed to bring his booty home and make his mom promise to go to the healer.  It was going to be boring as freaking hell.  But when I thought about it, getting back across the river (vampires have problems crossing running water because of something that happened to the demon that possesses them) was going to be the bigger problem.  All in all, I really like this scene now… otoh, I just wrote it and I’m a little biased.

I’m up to 214 pages total.  I had been worried when I started this that I was writing so tight that I was only going to end up with about 220 pages.  Well… forget that fear.  I started writing much “fluffier”, with much more description and… and this is the important part… with much more of the POV character’s emotion on display.  One huge thing I was missing from the 1st and 2nd draft, and really everything I’ve ever written prior to this, is the emotion of the character.  It made everything come out flat because there were just descriptions of what was happening and what people were saying.  There was nothing about what people were feeling and their motivations for doing what they were doing.  I think this makes all my characters infinitely more accessible and I need to carry this on into the future.  (I think.)


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