Gartan’s Book – 8/15/10

4 pages down tonight.  Three pages were for one scene and then I started another scene.

The first scene bothered me.  I should have gotten more written but I had a momentary block.  This is a scene where The Thief kills a street walker.  This is a scene that has existed from before the first draft with only minor modifications here and there to make it fit in with the flow of the story.  I full expected to just use the existing scene again.  But it didn’t feel right.  The more I thought about just sticking it into the scene, the worse it felt.

The original scene is told from the street walker’s POV and I started to write it that way again, but it was wrong.  I shifted over to The Thief’s perspective and something was bothering me there as well and then I realized that this wasn’t the same Thief as my previous drafts.  In my previous drafts, the madness was full on and the Thief was totally out of control of himself but also, the old Thief was just a kid who was a thief.  THIS Thief is a little older but a little darker.  He’s killed people.  For money.  Where the old thief was appalled to think of hiimself as a murderer, my new Thief wasn’t.  He wouldn’t look at this the same way.

If he has to kill someone in order to live, so be it.  He grew up on the streets with a drug addict for a mother and a gang as his father.  He’s not going to have any qualms about killing someone, he’s going to have qualms about having to kill over and over and over without getting caught.

Once I realized this was a new character, I could write the scene no problem.

The second scene I started is a “crux” scene.  In this scene, the protag fights to keep herself free from the Governor and his posse while trying to get back into her house with her husband so she can try to cure him.

In my mind, what started as a single scene has split into 2.  The first is the protag trying to get to her vampire husband and the second is the Governor trying to capture this madwoman and then what he does when he finds a vampire all wrapped up.


2 Responses to “Gartan’s Book – 8/15/10”

  1. Murder scenes, as you know, flommox me. Don’t know which is worse, the killer’s POV or the victim’s. Once in a while I’ll dream of being a murder victim. Did the other night. I called for help again and again, but the streets around me were suddenly empty of people, and I knew the murderer would win, because I had just seen him kill another woman. The dream ended before I was killed (this time), but I woke up shaking and could not go back to sleep for hours. Most folks don’t have these reactions, or don’t remember them in the morning. Sill, I wonder about what it takes to read these scenes without feeling queasy, let alone write them. I guess you just have to think like an engineer, not like a pilot. You’re making good progress–my Resistol is off to you!

  2. thepencilneck Says:


    When I write murder scenes, I have a tendency to want to write it from the victim’s POV because normally, that’s where the conflict and turmoil is. It shows the loss of the person more to show a glimpse of their hopes and dreams that are being ended.

    Although, in this case, when I told it from the street walker’s point of view, it was almost like I was saying it was OK to kill her because the inside of her head was so dirty and sick. So I wanted to show the Thief struggling with knowing that his desire was somehow very wrong but also knowing that he’d done other wrong things in the past so why was this so bad… and then just giving into it.

    I think with murder scenes, it’s not so much about the knife slipping between the ribs or the cudgel shattering the skull as it is about the turmoil inside the people, both the killer and the killed.

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